Time alone

I used to feel depressed or like I had done something wrong if I spent hours or days to myself.
I would tell myself stories about how I had no friends and no one wanted to hang out with me, or convince myself that there was something wrong with me. I would convince myself that I was antisocial and unfriendly.
I've always known that I'm an introvert. I get my energy from a source inside of myself and from being alone. I interact well with others and like to have fun, but know that at the end of the day I need to close my door to outsiders.
Now, at the start of the semester, I can spend a full day by myself and, well... feel absolutely fine about it.
I realize now that this is probably some gradual shift in being happier. The reason I would feel guilty or depressed about spending so much time alone is that I was not happy with myself, and needed to feel complete by constantly being with friends or lovers so that I felt appreciated. It sounds pretty common if we stop and take a moment to think about it - the addictive turns that relationships can sometimes take often have to do with wanting to feel loved because we are incapable of loving ourselves.
But I don't need anyone to love me anymore because I, myself and the most important person to myself, loves me.
I recognize now that I need to appreciate myself, and I do. My acts of turning down offers to go out, reading by myself and taking care of myself by myself, are an act of self respect and appreciation, a sense of self worth that I have only recently obtained.
Today I stayed in my room, played my guitar and started writing a song, did some reading for a class, took an extra long shower, laid in bed and watched baseball. To me this doesn't sound like a productive day in terms of "getting things done."
But the importance of self refection and meditation is essential for me.
I think Saturdays will be my day, so please don't ask me to hang out.
I've got a hot date with myself.