How come blessings only come in disguise?

I am totally grateful of the fact that my heart got completely obliterated not too long ago.
I obviously haven't looked at it this way always. In fact, I was angry, heartbroken, sad and confused for a while.
But I now walk a fine line between being cautious and self-aware and "hard" – so to speak. I look at things much differently now. I shock myself all the time still. Where is the Michal that wouldn't only meet people halfway, but walked most of the way and put in the majority of the effort? Where is the Michal that beat herself up for other people's misjudgments? Where is the Michal that let every tiny negative thing change the course of her day?
Gone, gone, gone. I don't know if those parts of me will ever come back, and I don't think I want them to.
But at the same time I often have to check this new self. I often find myself saying, "I can try and try and if you don't want to meet me halfway, that's on you, boo!" That's fine. I can write nice emails and have a forgiving attitude about people who have hurt me and if they aren't willing to see their own mistakes, that's on them. I don't let it bother me when people blow me off, either. Their loss.
But what about the unchecked, negative and cynical person I can see emerging if I'm not careful?
There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, between caution and cynicism, between compromise and nonchalance.
As India sings, I need to find the middle.